


He liked it so he put a ring on it

by ToSeeAMarchingBand



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: 4+1 Things, But nobody realizes it, Established Relationship, F/M, I know for a fact that if Adam wasnt there, M/M, Mmmmmmmmarriage, People are drunk for like half of it, Teen rating because people say fuck, The madame tracy/shadwell is lowkey but it's there, attempts at humor, everyone is so dumb, no beta we die like men, they'd all be toast, theyre married
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-27
Updated: 2019-06-27
Packaged: 2020-05-20 15:03:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,200
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19379116
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ToSeeAMarchingBand/pseuds/ToSeeAMarchingBand
Summary: ~"Raise your hand if you didn't know we were together,"Unsurprisingly, almost every hand in the room shot up. ~Or:Crowley and Aziraphale help plan a wedding, and along the way find out something very interesting...





	He liked it so he put a ring on it

**Author's Note:**

> I posted this at 1 am without like... checking it over... so if you see any mistake like "huh this is literally the worst spelling of this word I've ever seen" PLEASE tell me

It was really no surprise that Crowley and Aziraphale’s friends were all as oblivious as the pair was, save Adam, because although an angel and a demon partnership isn’t a likely occurrence, everyone knows “opposites attract” has always been a load of bullshit, and that in real life, it’s really more like “you’re naturally drawn to people that, like you, only have one braincell,” such is the case of this group of friends.

And although both Crowley and Aziraphale were quite thick skulled, having 6000 years of experience on the earth really does help tune one’s social senses. 

 

This became apparent as Anathema and Newt’s wedding drew near. Luckily for all parties involved, the woman wasn’t turning into what was so crudely called a “bridezilla”, but was instead just panicking, like any normal person before any normal event.

 

Currently, all of her closest friends were seated around a large tabled. Not one that she owned, seeing as how it was just her and Newt living together, and the need to have a large table wasn’t one they came across very often, and she didn’t even know she’d come to want a large table that day, as she burned her prophecy book. 

 

Aziraphale, having been the first to arrive earlier due to Crowley’s speeding tendencies, had quickly miracled one up, knowing that the large group wouldn’t comfortably fit around a two person dining table. 

 

“Is the main location secured?” She asked, looking to Madame Tracy, who had a knack for organizing events. The woman quickly nodded, pulling out a few sheets of paper from her purse. A lavishly decorated bag, of course, as you couldn’t expect anything less from her. 

 

“Yes, it was a miracle to me that they let us use that old airbase at all, seeing as how it’s military property,” she said, a bit baffled, completely forgetting that she once had been quite literally possessed by an angel who can preform miracles. Across the table, Aziraphale winked at Anathema, who wasn’t paying attention to him at all, leaving him winking at no one. *

 

*Crowley, who was often just staring at his angel, noticed this, and didn’t even try to suppress his snicker. He was a demon after all - he wasn’t nice - and laughing at people isn’t nice. 

 

Anathema nodded, smiling a bit at the good news. It was NOT the first bit of good news she had heard all week, no. Of course not, that’d be ridiculous. The first bit of good new she’d heard that week was Newt telling her that their wedding was in a week. 

 

“Alright then,” she said, going down the checklist that was attached to the clipboard in her hand*, and was very thankful that she hadn’t been drinking anything, as she would have done a spit take if she were, because of what she saw. 

 

*Just because she doesn’t have the book to tell her how her wedding will go, doesn’t mean she can’t do everything in her power to make it go the way that she wants

 

Seeing her sudden change in expression- going from a peaceful panic to flat out spitting out air-, Newt rushed over to her, his eyes wide. 

 

“What is it?” He asked resting a gentle hand on her shoulder to help try to soothe his fiancée. 

 

“We never ordered a cake!” She said in a voice near whisper, as she wasn’t used to panicking because her life had always been laid out for her, and this was the best she could do at the moment. 

 

At the mention of no cake, all of the Them gasped*. No cake meant no actual reason to go to a wedding, at least for a bunch of 11 year olds. No one was sure WHY exactly the kids were at the meeting, expect the fact that they, in Pepper’s words, “helped stop the apocalypse too, you know, so we deserve to be here as much as the rest of you”

 

*Along with Aziraphale but it was soft enough that no one heard

 

“Would you like a vanilla or chocolate cake?” Aziraphale interrupted them, smiling a bit as realization dawned upon Anathema. 

 

“Oh my goodness that’s right, you can just use your magic-“

 

Crowley shuddered at her use of the word “magic”, remembering the time at Warlock’s birthday party when Aziraphale had tried to put on a show. 

 

“- and whip up a cake, oh, Aziraphale you are an ANGEL,” she cried, pressing her hands to her heart. 

 

“Don’t I know it,” Crowley said, smirking a bit at his husband. Aziraphale rolled his eyes at the demon’s antics, but smiled none the less. 

 

Anathema laughed. “Right, because he’s a literal angel,” 

 

This was not the reaction the two were expecting. What they HAD been waiting to hear was something along the lines of “I didn’t know demons could be so cheesy” or “really, Crowley, stop sucking up to your husband”. Writing it off as the fact that Anathema was planning a wedding, and it was a very stressful time, they let it slide. 

 

~*~

 

The Them were not present at the table this time, as everyone around the table was drinking, and 11 was far too young to be getting as drunk as Shadwell currently was. 

 

Over their 6 thousand years, Crowley and Aziraphale had developed quite the alcohol tolerance, and were, at this point, barley even tipsy. 

 

Everyone was laughing and joking like old friends, even though none of them had met prior to the Almost-End-Of-The-World, save the two immortal beings. 

 

The topic at hand was how absolutely ridiculous Anathema had become in the few days before the current night, the night before the wedding. The Bride and Groom to be were very cautious about how much they were drinking, making sure neither of them would get a nasty hangover. 

 

Tracy had just finished a particularly biting retort about Ana’s hair getting progressively worse as the final week went on, when Anathema slammed her glass on the table, surprising everyone with how it didn’t break*. 

 

*The glass, that is. What would be more surprising than the glass not breaking on the table is the table breaking under the force of her arm. 

 

“You guys try planning a wedding!” She shouted, still smiling, as she wasn’t actually mad at her close good friends. 

 

“Honey, I basically DID!” Madame Tracy shot back, earning a sharp laugh from Crowley, who then downed the rest of his glass of wine*. 

 

*there wasn’t originally wine at Anathema’s house, her being more of a martini girl herself, but neither Crowley nor Aziraphale wanted anything else, so the next thing she knew, Ana had a wine cellar. 

 

“Girlie, I don’t think I’ve seen ANYONE as stressed as you were, and I am a literal demon who regularly went to Hell, which is pretty damn stressful,” he said, pointing at her as Zira refilled both of their glasses. 

 

“None of you understand!” She said dramatically flopping back in her chair, Newt quickly moving to push it forward when it leaned precariously backwards. 

 

“What, lassie?” Shadwell asked, half conscious, his beer spilling onto the floor underneath him, and Newt was incredibly glad they didn’t have carpeting. 

 

“None of you have been married! How would you know how hard it is to plan a wedding, if you’ve never had one?” She asked, unaware of the glances passed between Aziraphale and Crowley at her claim. 

 

Had the Them been there, the reactions would have been almost the same as the rest of the group. The keyword here being almost, because unlike everyone else he knew, Adam Young was NOT an idiot, and knew full well that Crowley and Aziraphale were married. Sadly, he was not there, and thus could not speak up with a “What on earth are you talking about?” So it was left to the age old couple. 

 

“Um,” the demon said, leaning forward and waving his hand a bit, showing off his wedding ring that nobody at the table had previously noticed. “I’m married,”. 

 

If you would like, you can imagine that Aziraphale’s hands were currently under the table- clasped together, making him look as polite as ever- to spare the embarrassment of everyone around the table. The truth is, the angel’s hands were in full view of everyone seated, along with his ring that matched Crowley’s. 

 

Anathema gave Aziraphale a look with an expression that he had thought meant “oh I see, you two are married, I remember now, sometimes I forget because it’s not often that I meet an angel and a demon that are properly wed, and it slipped my mind,”

 

Anathema was actually thinking something along the lines of “what the fuck is he talking about?” 

 

After a long silence of everyone staring at Crowley, Madame Tracy laughed. 

 

“You do seem the type to get married in Vegas when you’re drunk, dontcha Crowley?” She said, waving it off and moving to the next topic, the flow of conversation already back. 

 

Crowley leaned back in his chair, his eyebrows raised higher than when Aziraphale called The Velvet Underground “bebop” 

 

Said man reached to take his hand, but Crowley pulled away, smirking. 

 

“Didn’t you hear, angel? I’m a taken man,” he said, gently laughing at Aziraphale’s exasperated expression. 

 

~*~

 

It was the day of the wedding, and Crowley hadn’t seen even a glimpse of the bride. Which doesn’t sound like that much of a problem, but she had told them she’d be there to check them into a hotel room for after the reception*, and she wasn’t there. 

 

*the wedding was going to go very late, and half of the people invited were from America, so everyone was invited to stay the night. Crowley and Aziraphale didn’t need to do this, as they could just drive back to the bookshop, not actually needing sleep, but Aziraphale had insisted, saying it was rude to turn it down. 

 

Newt was behind the counter instead. After a meet up with everyone involved in the notpocalyose, the two had learned just how Anathema and her now fiancé had managed to save the world from total nuclear annihilation, and were thus very wary at the sight of him next to a computer- the booking system computer, to be precise. 

 

“I guess I could just write it down on a note and leave it here so she could properly register you guys in,” Newt, who also hadn’t seen Anathema all day, said, already grabbing a pen and a pad of paper. Aziraphale nodded, smiling a bit. 

 

He began scribbling a note, mumbling the wording a bit as he did so. 

 

“Aziraphale and Crowley... 2 beds...” he muttered, about to peel the note off the stack when the angel stopped him. 

 

“Um, just one bed will do,” he said, a bit confused. Newt looked at him strangely, not like he had just grown a second head because hey, he watched Satan rise from the ground, he’s pretty sure he’s seen everything at this point, but more like Aziraphale had just suggested that both he and Crowley could comfortably fit on a twin bed. 

 

“Ah! Right!” Newt gasped, already scribbling out the previously written message. Zira smiled. “One bed because you don’t sleep, I remember,” 

 

Before Aziraphale could say anything to dispute that, such as “hey good sir, after Crowley finally convinced me to, I’m quite fond of sleeping”, Newt got a phone call. He answered, tucking the phone between his ear and shoulder, and turned around the the rack of hotel keys behind him. They had very purposefully chosen a reception venue with very little technological advancement. 

 

“Here’s your key, don’t lose it, gotta go, bye!” He got out quickly, already running off. Aziraphale stood there in confusion for a moment, before being dragged off by Crowley. 

 

The reception area was in the event room, which was really more like a ballroom than anything else. Anathema and Newt couldn’t find a nice hotel like this in Tadfield, the only thing similar being a nice bed n’ breakfast that wouldn’t have managed to fit everyone at the ceremony, so they made do with something about an hour away. 

 

“Wouldn’t it be just AWFUL if all of the ice just... oh I don’t know... miraculously melted in some horrible accident*?” Crowley whispered to Aziraphale, knowing full well that a suggestion like that would leave the angel with no choice but to smack him upside the head. 

 

*Crowley would never do this, of course, as one time Anathema full on decked someone, and Crowley respects the woman too much to deliberately mess up her wedding. The demon simply just liked watching his angel’s face flush red. 

 

Lo and behold, the back of his head was met with Aziraphale’s hand, who although knowing full well his husband would never sabotage a wedding like that, thought the comment itself wasn’t very appropriate. 

 

The man was about to scold Crowley, when he realized he was rubbing the back of his head, a reaction not often seen of the immortal demon. 

 

“Damn, Aziraphale, why didn’t you tell me you had grown claws?” He asked, sarcasm dripping from his tongue like the blood would have been dripping from his head, had he been a human. 

 

“Oh my dear I’m sorry! I must have forgotten the keys in my hand, oh-“ 

 

“Keys?” Crowley interrupted, patting his front and back pockets*. “What key-“

 

*This was an entirely pointless gesture, as the man was, in fact, a demon, and had never started his car using keys in his life. 

 

“Oh the keys to our hotel room, I just got them from Newt,” Aziraphale explained, pulling Crowley along towards the room number listed on the ring. They stepped into the elevator and continued talking. “Want to know something strange?” He asked, knowing Crowley would take the bait. 

 

“What?” He said without even a little bit of hesitation. 

 

“They had originally booked us for a room with 2 beds,” he said as the elevator stopped, and the two walked to their room. 

 

Inside, there was a quaint little dining set with a mini fridge, a small bathroom off to the side with a lightbulb that flickered, and finally, a twin bed. 

 

After gaping at it for a moment, neither of them having slept on anything that small in decades, Crowley dropped the suitcase he had been rolling along, and sat on the bed. 

 

“Good thing you like cuddling, eh angel?” He said, and Aziraphale shook his head, but smiled nonetheless. 

 

“Newt must be so stressed,” he said, going to join his husband. 

 

~*~

 

It was a beautiful ceremony. Well, as beautiful as they could make an old military airbase. Crowley still wasn’t sure why exactly they had chosen THAT for their wedding location, but just accepted it after Aziraphale tried to go into all the detail about “symbolism” or whatever. 

 

The reception was currently going full swing, and the two were having a blast. The wine was surprisingly of mediocre quality*, so they were on the verge of drunkenness. 

 

*Nothing compared to the good wines they had had in their past, but it wasn’t boxed wine, so they were happy with it. 

 

“Can I tempt you to a dance?” Crowley asked his angel, holding out his hand, his body turned in the direction of the dance floor. Aziraphale blushed. 

 

“You know I don’t know how to dance, you old serpent,” Zira said, playfully waving the demon off. Crowley rolled his eyes. 

 

“Yeah, and neither do any of these drunken buffoons either. Come on, live a little,” he said, smirking when the other man stood up and took his hand. 

 

“Just one dance,” Aziraphale compromised, already walking over to the crowd, dancing to what are angel would almost certainly call “bebop”. 

 

They merged into the large group of people, going unnoticed by Anathema and her new husband. They did not go unnoticed, however, by Adam and his group of friends. 

 

Specifically Pepper, Brian, and Wensleydale, seeing as how Adam wasn’t actually there, because Dog was invited to the wedding, and had needed a walk just minutes before. 

 

“I told you this song wasn’t just a couples dance*,” Pepper said to Brian, already herding her friends over. They, being the youngest people at the wedding, were kept under a watchful eye from a select few people. All of those people were dancing and didn’t notice them go to the mass group of people that were twerking and stuff. 

 

*Pepper was right. It was not just a couples dance. She was wrong, however, in using Crowley and Aziraphale as reasoning as to why it was not a couples dance. They are a couple. Pepper does not know this, however. 

 

“What are you little buggers doing out here?” Crowley asked the trio when they walked out, and stood in the middle of the floor, looking not unlike a sore thumb. 

 

“Well,” Brian started, looking around at his well dressed friends. “Pepper thought-“

 

“Spare me the story,” Crowley said already turning back to his husband. The kids shrugged, decided that dancing was absolutely no fun, and went back to sit at their table. 

 

“I still don’t understand why that wasn’t a couples dance,” Brian said, scanning the crowd. Pepper rolled her eyes, like any exasperated girl would when having to explain something more than once. 

 

“Because Aziraphale and Crowley are up there, and they’re not a couple,” she said like it was entirely too obviously. The two boys with her looked all too confused. 

 

“But they wouldn’t be a couple anyway,” Wensleydale said, but it sounded more like a question than anything else.

 

“And why not? Just because they’re an angel and a demon doesn’t mean anything, because they ‘told heaven and hell to fuck off*’, is what Crowley said,” she said with the confidence and authority of someone who was entirely correct. 

 

*Crowley also said not to repeat what he’d just said after he remembered the kids were there, but Pepper has selective listening. 

 

“They can’t be a couple because they’re two guys!” Brian said, and Pepper didn’t hold back a gasp. 

 

“That’s homoPHOBIC,” She shrieked, but luckily it went unheard by anybody else, because nobody was focused on the kids. Figures. 

 

“What does that mean?” Wensleydale asked, looking at his friend who was beginning to realize that her friends were not bigoted, just uneducated. 

 

“It means you hate it when two men* are dating,” she said briefly, before turning to Adam, who had just arrived back from his walk. 

 

*Women, also, and anyone really, but Pepper was also 11 and thought there was no possible way over 31 flavors of ice cream existed, and so was quite uneducated as well

 

“What’s up?” Adam asked, sitting down at the table. 

 

“Brian and Wensleydale didn’t know that two men could date,” Pepper said in the same tone someone uses when tattling on their annoying sibling. 

 

“I have gay godfathers*,” Adam said, shrugging as if it were no big deal because it was definitely not a big deal at all. 

 

*The godfathers were Aziraphale and Crowley

 

“You said homophobia was hate, but phobia means fear,” Wensleydale said, looking at Pepper expectantly. Adam spoke up behind her. 

 

“I like to think the word is making fun of the homophobic people because it’s ridiculous to be afraid of gay people, don’tcha think, and it’s also ridiculous to hate gay people,” he explained, wiping a few scraps from his plate onto the ground for Dog to enjoy. 

 

After a few moments, Adam spoke up again. “Want to go over on the dance floor?”

 

“No,” 

 

~*~

 

It all came to a head after the wedding. Anathema decided that everyone she actually liked would come down to her and Newt’s room once the main party was over, and everyone else had gone to their own rooms. 

 

As it happened, Anathema really didn’t like a lot of people, so it was no surprise that the only people to join her afterwards were Madame Tracy and Shadwell, the Them*, and Aziraphale and Crowley. 

 

*the only reason the group of 11 year olds were still up at this time of night was the sheer amount of cake they had had given them a sugar rush that still hadn’t worn off

 

“Well,” Newt said, smiling slightly as he looked at his half asleep friends, Shadwell the only one being fully unconscious, spread out over Tracy. “I’d like to think this was a huge success,”

 

“Like to think?” Anathema said, gently slapping him as she took another long sip from the drink in her hand. “That was literally the best wedding I’ve ever been to,” 

 

“Well that doesn’t really count, now does it, seeing as how it was your wedding after all,” Aziraphale said, giving her a look that only angels can properly give. She waved him off. 

 

“It was by far the best PLANNED wedding I’ve ever been to!” She said, leaning back to where she was lying down on Newts lap. Crowley rolled his eyes. 

 

“And who do you have to thank for that?” He said, staring at her, hoping she could see his intensity behind his glasses. She gasped. 

 

“Right! Thank you Tracy-“

 

“No!” Crowley said pointing towards his husband who was very casually sipping wine like the lovely man he was. “He’s the only reason your wedding didn’t erupt in flames!”

 

“I kept Crowley from setting the venue on fire,” Aziraphale joked. But, Anathema wasn’t listening, already talking with Newt about their honeymoon. 

 

The demon looked around the room and shrugged, realizing he would have more fun asleep than with these people. 

 

“I’m heading to bed angel,” he said quietly, standing up, popping his back a bit as he did so. Aziraphale nodded, looking down a bit. 

 

“I think I’ll finish this wine and then join you,” he said, and even though their voices were quite enough to go unnoticed by everyone in the room, and no one, not even a member of the Them was paying attention, when Crowley leaned down and pressed a quick kiss to Aziraphale’s lips, the room filled with gasps. 

 

“WHAT?” Anathema shrieked, and Crowley quickly came to terms with the fact that he would not be getting to bed early that night, and sat back down. 

 

“Is this a new development? Did you guys finally get together at my wedding?” She asked, and her shouting was enough to rouse Shadwell from his slumber. 

 

“What the devil is going on?” He asked, his voice groggy. Anathema gaped at the couple. 

 

“Crowley and Aziraphale are dating!” She said, pointing at the two. 

 

“Huh?”

 

“We’re married actually,” this statement was followed by Crowley lifting their joined hands in the air, showing off their wedding rings. The silence that followed was some of the quietest that Aziraphale had ever heard, followed by what seemed like the loudest shriek. 

 

“SINCE WHEN?” Crowley gasped, staring at her with an expression that screamed “are you actually serious right now? You have to be fucking with me”

 

“Hang on,” Aziraphale said, motioning for the group to stop screaming because seriously it wasn’t that crazy that the two were married. “Raise your hand if you didn’t know we were together,”

 

Unsurprisingly, almost every single hand in the room shot up. Unsurprisingly again, was that Adam’s* hand was not up. Surprisingly, Shadwell’s hand wasn’t up either. 

 

*when later asked how he knew, he started blankly at his friends and told them “I was the Antichrist, Pepper,” and left it at that

 

Crowley’s first assumption was that he had fallen back asleep and that was why he didn’t raise his hand, but this theory was disproven the moment the man started talking. 

 

“I didn’t call the blond one a Southern pansy for nothing,” he said, before promptly passing out again. 

 

“How on earth did you guys not realize we were married? We were FAR from subtle,” Crowley said, clearly annoyed at the obliviousness* of his friends. 

 

*he had no room to talk, you’ll find proof of this claim if you watch Good Omens, or read the book

 

Suddenly, Aziraphale gasped. “This is why you book us 2 beds,” he said, looking at Anathema strangely. “And why you thought Crowley got married drunk in Vegas,” pointing an accusing finger at her, he looked around the room. “I cannot believe you guys,”

 

“If it makes you feel any better,” Adam said, still petting his dog. “I knew,”

 

“Yeah but Adam you don’t count. You’re our godson,” Crowley said, quickly turning back to the rest of the group. “What the fuck, guys,” 

 

“In our defense, you guys weren’t all... you know... out about it,” Tracy said, holding her hands up in surrender. 

 

“All out- all? WE LITERALLY SHARED A CONSCIOUS MIND!” Aziraphale sputtered, before resting his head in his hands. “Oh man I’m not drunk enough for this,”

 

“I really think we should just head to bed,” Crowley suggested, already leading the two out the door. 

 

“Agreed,”

 

“I’m feeling a century long nap will do us some good,” he said, smiling as they made their way out. Anathema gasped. 

 

“But we’ll all be dead when you wake up!”

 

“That’s the point, girlie,”*

 

*They ended up waking up the next morning to wish the new couple a happy trip on their honeymoon

 

**Author's Note:**

> Anathema: so how long HAVE you two been married?  
> Crowley:...  
> Aziraphale:...  
> Crowley: I don't know  
> Aziraphale: it had to have been sometime in the last century I'm sure


End file.
